In my weariness I ask, “How long can I continue this way.” In memory I realize how fresh my wounds still are. how long can I continue with the hole in my heart longing to be filled? How long before the wounds are nothing but a scar? How long Lord? Why Lord? I am not sure if this lot is one that I am able to carry. Lord, I think this is to much.
While sitting on my couch after a long night at work these emotions and questions were meditating in my mind. I was not emotional or afraid…these were just my thoughts and questions…Like I was fully aware that I was about to fail because I don’t think I am as strong,smart, or as capable as I wish I was.
Gods voice then came in a whisper, “walk with me.”
He walked me over to a devotional that I keep on my desk. It was one that my father read daily and one that my mother made sure my siblings and I all had copies of after his passing. I began to read a few pages and was comforted by the unique words I felt were only for me.
Like an eagle that stirs up its nest, that hovers over its young, so the Lord spread out his wings and took him, he lifted him up on his pinions. The Lord alone was guiding him, no foreign god was with him.—Deut 32:11-12
Our Almighty God is like a parent who delights in leading the tender children in His care to the very edge of the precipice and then shoving them off into the steeps of air, that they may learn their possession of unrealized power of flight, to be forever a luxury; and if, in the attempt, they be exposed to unwonted peril, He is prepared to swoop beneath them, and to bear them upward on His mighty pinions. When God brings any of His children into a position of unparalleled difficulty, they may always count upon Him to deliver them. —The Song of Victory
“When God puts a burden upon you He puts His own arm underneath.”
There once was a little plant that was small and whose growth was stunted, for it lived under the shade of a giant oak tree. The little plant valued the shade that covered it, and highly regarded the quiet rest that its noble friend provided. Yet there was a greater blessing prepared for this little plant.On day a woodsman entered the forest with a sharp ax and felled the giant oak. The little plant began to weep, crying out, “My shelter has been taken away. Now every fierce wind will blow on me, and every storm will seek to uproot me!” The guardian angel of the little plant responded,”No! Now the sun will shine and showers will fall on you more abundantly than ever before. Now your stunted form will spring up into loveliness, and your flowers, which could never have grown to full perfection in the shade, will laugh in the sunshine. And people in amazement will say, ‘ Look how that plant has grown! How gloriously beautiful it has become by removing that which was its shade and its delight!’ “
As I sat meditating on the story about the little plant I again heard him whisper, “Just wait.”
God did not tell me how strong and capable I am but instead He called me His little plant and promised me a better life full of abundance. He doesn’t want to give me good but he wants to give me the very best.
As I sit here writing and looking around at my little home I no longer see loneliness but I see the abundance God has given me. As I sit thinking about my life in general I no longer see stress or exhaustion but I picture excitement.As I sit here thinking about all I have and the people I have surrounding me with love and support I am reminded to count my blessing. I have many. So much is waiting for me, so much is yet to come.